(re)Filling The Void

Loss Or Opportunity?

There’s something to be said for having all the stuff you considered “important” corralled in one place, say, the cab and bed of a truck. Easy access. It’s all right there. You know where everything is, and you are self-contained and self-sufficient. There is also something to be said for having all that Important Stuff stolen, along with the truck you were ostensibly living out of, in the wee small hours of the night while you splurged on a fancy hotel room. In my case, the something I said was; “Ahhh, fuck.”

The massive bummer of having most of my Important Stuff jacked in the middle of the night was somewhat offset by the blank slate sense of near weightlessness that followed. Material possessions represent value, but they also can act as ballast, as weighty life anchors. More shit to worry about. The absence of those things, once the sting of loss is processed, once the red mist passes, is liberating. At least that is what I tell myself as I try to maintain perspective.

Perspective, however, is not always easy to find or maintain. Especially when rummaging around looking for a pair of sunglasses, a favorite base layer, or something to trim my toenails with, only to realize that the inanimate object that had been faithfully, almost invisibly, serving its purpose for god knows how many years had vaporized along with all my other Important Stuff. Then the anger and sense of violation briefly flares white hot, before subsiding and leaving me with an exposed need. Which brings us, roundaboutly, to the point of this column: the unexpected essential items that have been part of my restocking process. Some of these have proven more essential than others, but all of them were sourced in a moment of “gotta have it now” necessity.

Victorinox Wenger

This little gem was one of several just like it that were gifted to me and my then partner when a young Garen Becker (that charming dude at Santa Cruz bikes) was renting a downstairs apartment from us about 12 years ago. He had just come back from rolling around Central America in a diesel Suburban with his brother, and they had picked up some Swiss hitchhikers, and the Swiss had left them with a big bagful of these tiny little knives that they had then used to barter their way home. And they rule (so does Garen). My ex and I refer to these little knives as “Beckers”, due to how they arrived in our lives.

I had, for the same past 12 years, a trusty SOG-Tac auto pocket knife that served me faithfully and was never out of reach. Until I left it in the glove compartment the night my truck got stolen. Upon regrouping at the storage unit a couple weeks later, I found this little Becker in a bin labeled “office desk”, hooked it onto my keychain, and drove off into the dawn of a new day. It’s a sharp little bastard that is completely forgettable until I need to open some boxes, slice some calluses, trim some toenails, dig some cactus spines out of my forearm or tires, tweeze some tweezables, or use the toothpick to un-schmutz the charging port of my iPhone. It totally lacks the heft and menace of my stolen SOG, but it more than makes up for that with unobtrusive every day functionality. Thanks again, Garen!

Topeak Mountain Morph

What’s too big to fit in a jersey pocket, not big enough to really be considered a full size pump, but is still so awesome that everyone should own one? This little beauty right here. While I was regrouping at the storage unit, lamenting the loss of my Specialized floor pump, I found this in a duffel bag full of dirt bike gear and tools. It is probably about 18 years old, but apparently it rules so much that the design hasn’t changed. I have used it to air up everything from exercise balls to car tires. I lost it once upon a time, and bought another one. The other one was in my riding backpack, which, surprise surprise, was in the back of my truck when it got stolen. Along with my floor pump. So, finding this was sort of like an extra Christmas.

The “neither fish nor fowl” size and bulk of the Mountain Morph makes it hard to parse in the modern mountain biking hierarchy of needs. It’s too big for a pocket, and nobody really frame mounts their pumps anymore, do they? It is perfectly sized for pack duty, but then again, are people even packing full-ish size pumps anymore? That said, it blows a ton of air, can even seat tubeless tires on friendly rims, the little foot and hose that imitates a mini floor pump is actually functional, it switches relatively easily from Schrader to Presta, and will it outperform anything this side of a real floor pump or an old Zefal hPX. And it will last forever. I’ve long lost count of how many dirt bike tires I’ve inflated with this thing, and have never once even looked inside it to see if the piston needs some love. The other one, the one that got stolen, same deal. Year upon year of stone reliable, absolutely dependable service. Welcome back, old friend.

ODI Vans Lock-On Grips

While I was digging around in the storage unit, I loaded my brand new, still unfinished Starling Murmur into the back of the replacement getaway vehicle, cursing at myself for getting 99% of a build finished before getting distracted by some shiny object, or an escrow process, or cancer, or Mexico, or whatever. Wabi-sabi; story of my life. In this case manifested as a bicycle that is almost rideable but minus handlebar grips. Fortunately, thanks to a sale bin purchase at a bike shop on the way north from The Scene Of The Crime, I had scored these gumwall wonders. No, they do not match anything else on the bike. Yes, they absolutely rule. I bought them on a whim, had no idea if I would like their 31mm diameter or waffle pattern or grip texture, and as it turns out I may have a new favorite grip. For now, anyway. Probably been discontinued already…

Skratch Labs Hyrdation/Recovery Drink

Among the many items that got poached with my truck, there was a bin filled with fancyass titanium camp cookware, a Jetboil, and a whole mess of “things that cyclists shove in their mouths while riding” – Clif Shot Bloks, GU gels and Stroopwafels, and a couple big bags of Skratch Labs drink mix. The chewable things, I was not too torn up about. I have a love/hate relationship with most edible “cycling nutrition” anyway. But, damn, I’ve sort of become addicted to Skratch Labs hydration aids over the past couple years, so these were two of the first things I replaced, at the same bike shop I found those ODI grips.

Skratch Labs don’t use janky fake sugars, and rely on simple recipes and real-ish ingredients. For me, that makes them better tasting and easier to stomach. I run the Lemon-Lime hydration juice in a single bottle on rides less than 2 hours, mixed somewhere in between their “average athlete” and “heavy sweater” recommended ratio. Then I chug a recovery shake as soon as I get off the bike. Me gusta el sabor Horchata. Maybe it works, maybe it’s happy taste bud placebo effect, but I feel less thrashed on a day to day basis following this protocol. It also bears mentioning that both these flavors have solid potential as cocktail mixers.

Silca HX-1

Chalk this one up to extravagant excess. I’ve always been a sucker for classy wooden cases, practicality be damned. Yes, 99 USD is a ton of money to pay for a basic array of hex and Torx wrenches (“don’t forget the screwdrivers, dad!”) that could be essentially replicated for about half that (provided we stick with name brand stuff and don’t cheat by going full Harbor Fright). But on the flip side of that rationale, sourcing the same range of stainless steel wrenches (2-10mm 8-piece hex set, 7-piece Torx set, 4 screwdriver bits) from everyone’s current darlings, Wera, would probably cost about the same, or maybe more than this. AND this comes with a totally impractical but beautiful wood case. There’s a magnetic adaptor that fits onto the 6mm hex key, and the Torx as well as screwdriver bits fit into that. The plug-in wrench fitting is the same size as used on cordless power tool bits, which means there is an absolutely huge range of replacement bits available when these get lost or wear out or if you need to really stretch out your purchasing rationale. No, it is in no way portable. Yes, it was there in the display case when I was buying the grips and the Skratch Labs stuff. Yes, I have wanted one of these boxes since I first saw them a few years ago. Yes, I paid full fucking retail. No, I do not regret it one bit.

… I was going to wrap this up with a barely coherent attempt at tying the room together about how these seemingly unnecessary necessities were enabling me to get my tires dirty and find the hidden trails that in turn fuel my combined need for adventure as well as pedal therapy, but it seems like a stretch. I mean, they do facilitate all that, but they are not the absolute “must have” glue that binds. I’m not sure if there is any “must have” glue that binds anymore. But these little things, seemingly not that important in the grand scheme of things, are what helped me start putting chaos back in some semblance of order over the past couple months. I’m thankful for each and every one of them.