Best Of 2023
Andrew's Worst Ride Of The Year
Friday, February 17th, 2023
As we cross the Stave Falls Powerhouse, a hydro dam in Mission, BC, I know immediately that I've screwed up. Bad. I feel The Clairebarian looking suspiciously back and forth, reading the side of my face from the backseat and also examining the fresh slushy build-up on the side of the road. In a soft, measured but somehow menacing tone, she remarks: "There is no snow in North Vancouver." It's true, all of our local trails in her wheelhouse consist of entirely snow-free hero dirt. Superhero dirt even. What can I say?
To make matters worse, I am driving onward, with the knowledge that I am yet to be fully measured for my cloak of accountability. Uncle Crash Test is to join us for a very rare Friday off work. Oi. When we pull into the Mill Pond parking lot he is already there, standing in the snow unloading his raw aluminum bike. With a penetrating glance, he says: “There is no snow in Port Moody.”
Claire has since pedaled a solid portion of Big Trouble In Little Chainring. But in February, for the first time, it was 90% a hike-a-bike.
Crash Test Kevin and I hiked most of the forest service road as well. Claire was light enough to pedal, floating above the snow, on a surprising amount of it.
Magically, in return for an adventure-level time accessing Super Bear, the downhill was mostly snow-free and entirely rideable.
Under the wave of scathing scrutinization, I plead my case. Yes, I could have checked the weather, but where's the adventure in that? Besides, even if it's not the best ride, it could make a fantastic adventure! We'll have the mountain to ourselves. And just because it's snowy in the parking lot doesn't positively, 100%, mean that there's snow at higher elevations. Okay, yes, again, I could have checked the weather. Umm, first tracks anyone?
The thing about my brother is that he loves to suffer. Claire's a trooper too, and f*ck-it we're already here, so it doesn't take me much cajoling to get everyone moving. The plan is simple, up the Big Trouble In Little Chainring Climb. Across branch road SA200. Down Super Bear. In my pack, I have a bag of apple-strawberry turnovers for the top. Gramma is expecting us with hot chocolate and home-baked cookies a twentyish-minute drive from the bottom.
I'll be honest, I am a bit in awe of my kid on this day. Both she and Crash Test Kevin (CTK) are beyond perseverant as the sport surface positively sucks. There is such limited traction on the hike that we all bite it at least once. I still have a couple of shin grooves where I kicked my Waveform pedal while heading for an emergency meeting with the ground. The fact we are all still laughing and smiling when it comes time to dish out the baked goods is a minor miracle.
Since this photo was taken, I've had to replace both rotors and the rear derailleur. We're limping the chain, ring, and cassette through the worst of drivetrain-killer season.
I just received a note that NSBillet has these SRAM 3-bolt 24t rings in stock again. There is a lot of weight to be saved off most kids' bikes with a smaller ring and tighter cassette block.
Next comes the sullen and even more snowy one-kilometer service road hike-a-bike to the unknown. The keep-it-light banter of the climbing trail is gone, replaced by a contemplative well-spaced silence. Everyone is on their own adventure, though we all keep each other in sight.
At this point, I begin to fret a flake. If the descent is anything like the climb it's going to be terrifying. Much steeper grades and near-zero traction for our tires or our shoes. Claire's light enough to stay atop the snow on 2.4" rubber, and the plus-sized tire on my Waltworks will help some, but the forecast is not for fun of any type.
The descent isn't anyone's best ride. But somehow, someway, it‘s fully rideable from the top. The Clairebarian manages to soak through the spare gloves she's carrying and the spare spares I'm carrying for her. Even stopping for a few proper shake-breaks isn't enough to get her hands to stop hurting from the cold. My dexterity is shot too and even Mr. T-shirt in 5° weather is stoically stymieing some full-body shivers.
Cold, wet, hungry? You never know what your backpack-wearing cycling companion might be porting around. How about an apple-strawberry turnover to flip the frame of mind?
And when we arrive at the trailhead? The descent is mostly clear of snow and remains so most of the way down the trail. Even where there is a dusting, traction isn't an issue at all.
There are a few tears at a jagged rock section that Claire wants to session. The soul is willing but the body is not responding so we agree it will be there another day. A warmer day. A less exhausting day. I carry her bike down the worst of it and hug her. Our adventure is almost over, it's just a minute or two to the bottom. She buys in, all in, and finishes strong, charging up the last climb cleanly much to our collective shock. CTK and I have seen plenty of adults walk it in much better conditions.
We're all a bit silly now and we hammer to the waiting vehicles. In the back of our car, I have a giant Polar Fleece blanket that my mom sewed together for me as well as a heavy, brightly multi-coloured wool sweater she knit me. By the time we arrive, I'm no longer desperate for either. I load my kid and our bikes and Crash Test and I convoy to mom's house.
I anticipate that Claire will fall asleep but she's chattering excitedly the whole trip to Gramma's. We happily agree that it's the worst ride we've ever been on. We're still talking about it, in other words, I'm still hearing about some 10 months later, as 2023 reaches its conclusion.
Unanimously the worst ride of 2023, and yet, somehow one of the best experiences.
Height - Steve Buscemi-ish
Wait - Patiently
Ape Index - T-Rex
Age - The same as DOS
Favourite Trail(s) every week - Pipeline (thank you Ken!) to Lower Crippler (thank you Andy!)
Favourite Song(s) this week - I'm Your Man. Nick Cave (covering Leonard Cohen)
Favourite Colour - Cosmic Lilac
Bar Width - It depends
Reach & Stack & ETT - It depends
Crank Length - 175mm except when it's 170mm
Wheel Size - Hot For Mullets
Comments
Cooper Quinn
2 weeks, 5 days ago
Welcome, Claire, to Type 2 fun.
Its the worst. And the best.
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 5 days ago
I figure Type-2 fun is learned and earned - teach your kid(s) to love to climb their bike(s) and the rest sorts itself out.
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taprider
2 weeks, 4 days ago
singlespeed bikepacker in the making
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Single-speeding maybe, bike packing she’ll have to discover on her own. I appreciate the activity but it’s not for me.
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Karl Fitzpatrick
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Single speeders and bike packers seem to have become unspoken and unofficially lumped together as cycling outliers but I don't think they could be more different.
I love single speed as it allows me to bury myself for short, intense rides which is mostly all I have time for.
Bikepacking appeals to me but the time aspect (and the cost of the packing part of the equation) of it switches me right off.
My guilty conscience makes me feel spoilt enough with the time I get to ride already (thanks wifey). Overnighters would make me feel I was taking the piss completely.
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 4 days ago
The thing about single-speeding is it exists in every branch of bicycling. DH/park bikes, XC bikes, Cyclocross, road, commuting, etc. People bike pack with #1FG.
I think of the number of gears to be an add on to the application.
taprider
2 weeks, 3 days ago
don't know if bikepacking is that much of an outlier anymore
although, the majority now seem to use the term to refer to gravel road touring
to me it's not "bikepacking" unless the tires are off the ground regularly (more for lifting and carrying the bike, but also for getting stylish in the trials and BMX kind of ways)
bunny hops, not camp flip flops
AlanB
2 weeks, 1 day ago
Snow rides are the best rides.
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Andrew Major
1 week, 6 days ago
Yes! Happy New Year Alan.
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TristanC
2 weeks, 5 days ago
I've had some hard rides. I've had some miserable rides. I've had rides that ended in injury and weeks of recovery. But I've never had a ride that was worse than not going for a ride.
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 5 days ago
It took me a long time after my Achilles rupture to really stitch together a silver lining, but I agree.
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Velocipedestrian
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Does a ride you can't remember, but led to weeks off count?
Look after the brain, folks!
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TonyJ
2 weeks, 5 days ago
Gold Andrew, GOLD....
We are weird animals. I have hiked in snow from the second to the fifth, wearing shorts/pads/jacket, for just the idea that it might be amazing. IT WAS NOT! but the experience will never leave me. In the end, I have had much worse rides.
The fact that Claire will remember that ride is the best part. I hope she gives you the gears about it at your eightieth birthday celebratory ride....
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 5 days ago
Thank you, Tony.
“The fact that Claire will remember that ride is the best part. I hope she gives you the gears about it at your eightieth birthday celebratory ride....”
I’ll take the longest good life I can get, but certainly that would be a dream come true.
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Bikeryder85
2 weeks, 5 days ago
Love this stuff Andrew, the joy you find in being a father is a refreshing part of our little corner of the Internet! Have a merry Christmas and a great 2024!
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Thank you; Merry Christmas to you and yours as well!
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taprider
2 weeks, 4 days ago
This is a great Christmas story
thanks Andrew
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bde1024
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Funny how these quasi-disaster rides are the most memorable. I remember a summer group ride years ago when it was clear to everyone but our ride leader that thunder storms were about to roll in. The clear sunny day got so dark that fireflies started lighting up. Then came torrential sheets of rain, lighting and thunder. Somehow all of us got back intact, cursing at our “leader” who was hosting the ride from his house. He made up for it with beer and chili for the gang, and all was forgiven
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Damn, I’ve led some properly near-disaster expeditions but I’ve never bought back from friends’ good will with food and beverages afterwards. Great story, all was “forgiven” but I’m sure he’ll never hear the end of it.
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bde1024
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Ha, forgiven but not forgotten!
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Vik Banerjee
2 weeks, 4 days ago
I get excited when there is snow on the trails. It's a fun change from normal and it's a pretty limited time situation on the coast. Keeps the "golfers" away as well! I like having the trails to myself. ;-)
I hope you and Claire get another really "bad" ride like this in the books before winter 2023/24 is over.
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 4 days ago
It always surprises me that we don’t even need snow. Hint of rain, early nightfall, it’s like everyone was abducted by aliens.
We rode after school on Friday. Lights required at about the halfway mark. Mild temperature and amazing conditions. Saw one other rider.
Same ride, same time, in September was like swimming up single-track in a salmon run and the trails were nowhere near as great.
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Moritz Haager
2 weeks, 4 days ago
This totally reminds me of my first ride ever on the North Shore. I was doing an elective at St. Paul’s in December of all months. I was super excited to ride, so first free day I had I headed over to Fromme. It had snowed and mountain highway was covered. I rode / walked up and started down upper oil can. I was the only idiot on the mountain that day. Just finding the trail was challenging. At one point I ended up on top of a cliff with a landing at the bottom that seemed so clearly beyond the rest of the trail that I had to be off route (might have been part of flying circus?). I walked more than I rode that day, and by the time I got back to my truck I was shivering and hypothermic. However, it was an adventure, and there was something magical about being all alone in the quiet woods exploring these mythical trails that I remember this day so vividly 18 years later.
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 4 days ago
I've had so many great snowy adventures on Fromme over the years. As you say they somehow end up being the most vividly rememberable.
Here's a shot of my friend Alan on Executioner maybe 15 years ago. No fun at all!
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Velocipedestrian
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Sweet unicycle!
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Hahahaha.
I have a photo of CTK in the same position. That log/corner took them both out.
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Karl Fitzpatrick
2 weeks, 4 days ago
So awesome, Andrew. You'd have to pack yourself in the back too for having slowly and surely weened your grom into these kinds of experiences.
After some sporadic grade 2 trail rides that stop and start up to 7ish km long, my kids came with me on their longest non-stop ride (bike packing?) to a distant playground 8(flat)km away.
They both complained at separate times of sore bums and "never doing this again!" but arriving to the best playground in town and chocolate covered treats, all was forgotten.
Conversely, after their mum picked them up and I'd set off to some of the more technical nearby trails, I saw what looked like two inexperienced riders (a 'stoic' dad with a crying 7 year old) pushing their bikes along a very technical traversing trail on what the dad called 'a big adventure' and what I would've called 'A Great Way To Turn Your Kid Off Bikes Forever' haha.
I'm still working my kids up to this kind of self-torture and I'll hopefully be able to tell if they're up for it ie. not sobbing uncontrollably...
Meri Kirihimete, Andrew!
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 2 days ago
Claire is a very cautious and calculating kid. Her progression curve in terms of fitness and technical climbing has been fast because she's very active (ironically, given how much time I spend in front of a computer she gets very limited screen time - if she's not at school or asleep she's reading, drawing, playing hockey, hiking, or mountain biking). On the other hand, her progression on technical terrain has been slower than other kids I know, especially per rep. And it's all good. She's putting in the work generally with a great attitude. The important thing, I think, when it's "your thing" is to meet your kids on their terms. Now riding is our thing.
I won't claim there have never been (non-crashing) tears on the trail. I often have to remind myself that I don't ride every feature or every trail every time and I have days on the bike when nothing seems to work. I sometimes extend for a longer lap, and sometimes I cut out and go home early and it's important to give my kid, and myself, this lever of flexibility.
One time, a few years ago now, I did carry her bike out of the forest with her walking next to me crying. We both had shitty attitudes that day and it was neither of our proudest moments. We learned a lot from the experience.
What do I know, really? But I do like to think that it helps that I've never positioned myself as the dad with all the answers who must be listened to in all things. I tell my kid all the time that I'm far from perfect - call me out when I have a shitty attitude and don't accept "just because" as an answer.
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rockford
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Great adventure! I love that the first time I see Mission trails featured on NSMB, it's for the "worst ride of the year". Story checks out!
We've got a trail day going down on Dec 31st to buff up SuperBear so it'll be minty fresh for a NYD Jan 1, PolarBear plunge ride. Swim in Mill Pond is optional, but encouraged ;).
Jan1, '24. 1pm. Me, my son and a few other hardy souls will be riding Bear. I think Claire would be happier with the trail conditions this time!
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Hahaha, Claire loves riding Bear despite her first adventure.
We did Big Trouble In Little Chainring a few times in the spring and summer.
She actually had her biggest/scariest crash to date on Lorax:
https://meatengines.com/f/eating-sht-on-papas-watch?blogcategory=proGROMing
Cheers for your work & Happy New Year. I don’t mind cold water but I don’t think you could pay me to jump in Mill Pond, at any time of year.
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rockford
2 weeks ago
Nice, glad to hear. Yeah...swimming in Mill Pond is not enticing on the hottest days. But for the optimism and hope that a New Year brings, doing something super-questionable sounds like a good way to get things rolling!
HNY to you as well.
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Andrew Major
1 week, 6 days ago
Hahaha. Post up and let us know if you grow an extra eye!
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AndrewR
2 weeks, 2 days ago
Just because it wasn't a great ride doesn't stop it being an amazing adventure!
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jddallager
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Geesh, Andrew! Did I miss the comments about character-building, cohesiveness, collaboration, etc.? :-) Great article as always, especially the "family fun" aspects! Type 2 Fun rocks!!!
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Hahahaha, Cheers! I’d never use the term ‘character-building.’ Too over-played. I like ‘opportunities to demonstrate shared-stoicism’ which is guaranteed to generate some proper eye-rolling.
This isn’t the first ride, nor will it be the last, where I remind Claire that being ‘tough’ is a lot easier when we know that/when the discomfort will end. It’s more acceptable to be cold and uncomfortable when I know it’s temporary and more focussing to keep pushing to a destination knowing it houses our respite.
I’ve run into quite a few mountain bikers over my years who don’t have this ‘learned-stoicism’ internalized but it’s something that often helps me move through bad days, outside of riding bikes, with a modicum of grace.
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Sandy James Oates
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Looks like a fun ride to me, especially when you have your family with you.
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 2 days ago
Not every fun ride is a great adventure, not every fun adventure is a great ride. It was a great experience we talk about all the time (because we won't let me forget it).
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Andy Eunson
2 weeks, 4 days ago
My friend Pete would say: "the worst day on your bike, is still better than your best day at work." Sometimes you make choices and you don’t make the best ones but you make the best of it. I’ve driven all the way up to Hollyburn to cross country ski and arrive in rain instead of the snow the website said they had. Drove home. Went for a ride yesterday because alpine skiing is dodging bad skiers, gravel patches, rocks on slush or ice. Nordic isn’t much better. Wet and too soft to groom to thin snow base. We made the best choice. Yeah we walked a bit but the trails were surprisingly non snowy most of the way. Sometimes it’s time for the Southpark line, "you know, I learned something today" check the weather next time. Or we learned about stoicism today. We survived our adventure just fine and laugh about it after.
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BarryW
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Absolutely the best of the worst, beautiful, type 2 fun.
Sounds like some of my best rides. Cold, wet, miserable, painful fingers...
Ah the memories!
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Guy Elliott
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Great article. Fresh snow rides are always this way, either the best or the worst, or both. I love that feeling when first setting out simply not knowing what the next 2hrs will bring
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 2 days ago
The secret, I think, is a pack full of back-up plans. All the layers, all the baked goods. Cheers!
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Beau Miller
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Having tried, and failed at this same scenario, hats off to you. The best laid plans for introducing your kids to adventures- despite well laid introductory routes and treats and everything else in between- success is far from a guarantee.
So stoked to see a little shredder in the making, may she go far.
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 2 days ago
Cheers Beau,
As I replied to Karl above, there've been a few ugly moments through our years riding together. I certainly don't mean to socialmediatize riding with my kid. We've learned to be pretty good at being patient with each other and to call each other out when our attitudes aren't great.
Success is not a guarantee. I know a lot of truly passionate mountain bikers who haven't managed to move riding with their kids from being "my thing" to "our thing," if that makes sense.
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Sanesh Iyer
2 weeks, 3 days ago
Awesome article! Loved it Andrew. Claire's getting geared up with the skills and fortitude for some great adventures later in life...
Snow rides hold a special place in my heart. My first time "riding" Pipeline was when I was 12, in the snow. Infact it was the first time we ventured above Bobsled. We mostly walked. One of my favourite riding memories is Hangman in the snow, on my brand new Rocky Flatline WC and some great friends. And snowy jank tech is a favorite too... And when the hoar frost gets out and you end up riding on rails, the best grip of any surface.
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Andrew Major
2 weeks, 2 days ago
Thanks, Sanesh. It's funny, snow rides seem to hold a special place in everyone's heart who's been on one and yet so few folks ride in the snow?!
Speaking on adventures later in life, I heard that you're moving away - at least for a while? Safe travels and all the best with your next adventure.
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Sanesh Iyer
2 weeks, 2 days ago
Thanks man, and happy holidays!
Yeah, I'm moving to Zürich for... Well who knows how long. PR Visa, New job. Travel, trying something out, and chasing a chance to make a positive impact at a global scale. Maybe achieving financial independence along the way.
And there's great dirt jumps
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Pete Roggeman
2 weeks, 2 days ago
Dude. Amazing. Zurich is terrific as is having PR status in Schweiz.
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Andrew Major
1 week, 6 days ago
Awesome Sanesh! Hope it’s all you’re hoping and more.
.
Can you say what kind of work you’re doing? Or hush-hush at this point?
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GB
2 weeks, 2 days ago
Human powered vehicles make for exelent adventures .
Adventures are not all about fun. Finding strength through adversity and challenge shared with others are probably the most cherished moments .
Beautiful story.
Merry Christmas.
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Andrew Major
1 week, 6 days ago
Definitely. Cheers GB & Happy New Year.
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Kos
2 weeks, 4 days ago
Yikes!
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